La Dolce Vita, Stone

La Dolce Vita. Neither this nor that.

I believe that, in order to be really good, a restaurant, pub or cafe just needs to know what it wants to be. If you want to be a caff (I use the spelling advisedly), then stick a load of caff food on your menu and serve everything with builder's tea. If you want to be a sophisticated Mediterranean, then your menu should feature lots of sophisticated Mediterranean food.

The trouble with Stone's La Dolce Vita is that it isn't quite sure what it wants to be. I visited on a Bank Holiday Monday with my wife, her grandmother and our two children. Me and the littlies chose from the a la carte menu, while my wife and her Nan opted for the set menu, which was a very cheap £7.99 for two courses.

However, whilst cheap, the set menu was made up of mostly school dinner style options; stew and dumplings, omelette and chips and sausage and mash. More caff than Mediterranean, if I'm being critical.

Furthermore, my choice from the a la carte menu; a hard-to-screw-up Quattro Formaggi, was uninspired. The base tasted suspiciously like it might have been from a packet. It had the tell tale two layer, doughy texture that you get in the supermarket packets of pre-rolled bases.

The cheese was a little bit too generous, again suggesting that the chef has grown used to pleasing a very traditional palate, and the choice of cheeses wasn't exciting.

That said, my two year old daughter proclaimed her identical pizza, 'very, very nice'. So even if you can't please all of the people, you can please some of them!

Mrs Eating Out in Stafford's sausage and mash was okay but swimming in gravy. Her Gran's conservatively chosen omelette wouldn't have been out of place in a builder's caff but was very, very generously portioned. In fact I'd say huge.

I forewent dessert but Mrs EOIS had the apple crumble and regretted it. Again served swimming, this time in something resembling school dinner custard, the crumble was doughy and rushed and the apple neither cooked nor crisp. The less said the better.

La Dolce Vita is a long way from expensive; our meal came to fifty pounds or so for five. In all honesty, I would have preferred to have paid more for a better meal.

But, just as a restaurant needs to know what it wants to be, you have to know what you want as a punter. Next time I feel like an uncomplicated omelette and chips for a reasonable price, I will head over to La Dolce Vita. But if I'm looking for Mediterranean, I'll stay away. There's nothing wrong with uncomplicated English food, but this restaurant could be so much more.